Q – I have noticed some signs that my elderly mother is struggling to live independently in her own home. While I have some ideas about home care, I do come from a large family in Saratoga and feel it’s important that I involve my siblings and immediate family in the decision making. What’s the best way to go about this?

A – Ask your immediate family to get together in the San Jose area so that you can all discuss your concerns about your mother’s health and care. If not all siblings live close by, you can set-up a conference call so that everyone can be involved in discussing your mother’s care requirements. For the first meeting, don’t involve your mother, so you can talk openly about your concerns without upsetting her. Discussing elder care requirements for a loved one, can be stressful, so keep the following tips in mind when planning your first family senior home care meeting.

1. Establish a goal for each meeting – the first meeting might be about discussing concerns, and making suggestions for how to proceed with home care

2. Invite only close relatives – invite your close siblings or other family members you feel must be involved, but try to keep numbers under 7 people

3. Allow each family member the chance to speak without interrupting

4. Share resources – each family member can bring information about your mother’s specific conditions or local resources that may be able to help

5. Have a moderator – invite a 3rd, impartial party like a counselor or Geriatric Care Manager to help keep the meeting on track if you feel there will be disputes about your mother’s care amongst family

Sources:

1. Elder Care Online

2. Suite101

Image Source: Corbis.com

Call Home Instead Senior Care serving elders in San Jose, Los Gatos, Santa Clara and Saratoga when seeking help for your aging parents - 408-370-6360.